Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Spring Renewal


Last year, I completely surprised myself by making and keeping a New Year's resolution. I lost about 35 pounds between January and June. An accomplishment of which I was very proud! This year, I started with good intentions of losing the last 10 pounds to get into a healthy BMI range, and to take some steps to live a happier life. I haven't been very successful this year, but now I am looking to Spring to give me the inspiration I need to get this stuff done.

I started back on my diet on Monday. It's going well. It definitely helps that bad food makes me feel bad. If I slip up, my stomach will not let me forget it. It's a good thing. The exercise will come soon, as well. I know that by keeping up with my exercise, I'll not only be in a position to lose more weight, but I will feel better. It's such a good stress reliever.

I have also started a new 365 photography project. Photography really helps me to relax, and I enjoy it. I am going to try to put aside my insecurities (thoughts that my photos aren't good enough) and just have some fun taking photos and sharing them with others. I did this back in 2011, and did the Fat Mum Slim "Photo-a-Day" challenge from last April to the end of this March, so it's nothing new. Plus, I post to Instagram everyday. This time, however, I am determined to learn more about my D-SLR to take some better photos. An online photography course I'm taking next month will hopefully help with that.

These things will take up a lot of my free time (it's slim pickings), but I also want to try to blog more often. I enjoy writing, and it's another thing that helps reduce stress. If I can at least write once or twice a week, I'll be happy!

I'm working on my self-image, self-worth issues through all of this, trying hard to block out the voices that tell me I am not good enough for anyone else. I want to break down these walls that I've built around myself in self-defense (even when not needed), for fear of rejection, and have the courage to face others. I could use some meaningful relationships in my life, but this will only happen if I can open up to others. I should not be defined by others' opinions of me, whether good or bad. I should not feel worthless, because I was put here for a reason. I need to find my voice, and my place, in this world, but I need to figure out who I really am before I can do that. This will be my hardest challenge yet, but I'm getting the help I need to figure it out.

Yes, I am really looking forward to this Spring.